


Resident Horny: Twink Fucker 3000 and T-PussyDestroyer 5000

by they_call_me_the_space_king



Series: Crack treated seriously [3]
Category: Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Leon S. Kennedy, Come Inflation, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Consensual Sex, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Game: Resident Evil 2, Human/Monster Romance, I had thoughts about Mr x, I wonder what im doing with my life, Jill gets her coochie ate by a bioweapon, Kinda, Leon Slut Kennedy, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Orgy, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Sex, Size Difference, Spanking, Tentacles, Vaginal Sex, and Leon, and i was like, but i couldnt stop myself from writing it, comedy eases the pain, idk man just read it, no beta we die like men, okay lets write something i guess, this fic bridges between "take it seriously" and "dont take it seriously at all", this is all so weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23942917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/they_call_me_the_space_king/pseuds/they_call_me_the_space_king
Summary: Leon was so fucked. Like, actually. He was literally getting fucked.The Tyrant, also known as Mr. X, also known as the Twink Fucker 3000, was balls deep in Leon’s ass right now. And the rookie would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying it.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Bitch can’t even swim.”Jill was dumb. Jill was so stupid. Why would she assume that it couldn’t swim? It was a bioweapon. Why wouldn’t he know how to swim? Stupid. She was stupid and now karma is going to have its way with her. Correction, Nemesis was going to have its way with her.In a sexy way.
Relationships: Leon S. Kennedy/Mr. X | Tyrant T-00, Nemesis-T Type/Jill Valentine
Series: Crack treated seriously [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1528937
Comments: 16
Kudos: 221





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey man. i just felt like writing it. and u decided to read it, so you cant judge me anymore than i can judge u

Leon was so fucked. Like, actually. He was literally getting fucked.

The Tyrant, also known as Mr. X, also known as the Twink Fucker 3000, was balls deep in Leon’s ass right now. And the rookie would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying it.

Everything was going alright before this. He successfully avoided a pack of lickers and he bodied a few zombies. But, as he was searching for some ammo, the familiar and foreboding sound of **thud, thud, thud, thud,** could be heard and Leon nearly shit himself as the door was slammed open.

Instead of shitting himself though, he just screamed. It wasn’t very manly and he hopes Ada wasn’t lurking around anywhere. Though, could you blame him? The Tyrant is downright terrifying. In a hot kind of way. Like, super hot. Hotter than the sun. So, what if he popped a fear boner? That was Leon’s business and he’d like it to be kept off the record. It’s on the record though.

After screaming, he ran and forgot that he did indeed have a gun on him. It wasn’t like it’d make much of a difference though because he’s pretty sure the Tyrant is made out of steel or some shit like that.

Leon didn’t get far before he was grabbed by the back of his neck and slammed roughly onto one of the metal tables. He grunted in pain, trying his hardest to ignore the sharp arousal he felt beginning to pool in his stomach. What the fuck is wrong with him? He’s about to die and he’s getting horny. Me too, Leon. Me too.

However, instead of his head being bashed in or torn off, the grip on his neck loosens (not very much, but enough to allow him to breathe.) Then to his horror and excitement, his pants and boxers are roughly ripped from his body, baring his ass to the world.

He _really_ hopes Ada isn’t lurking around.

Leon immediately begins to struggle against the hand holding him down but all that earns him is a smack to the ass. Something that he wishes didn’t turn him on as much as it did.

He yelps. “What the FUCK! What are you-“

Mr. X smacks his bottom again, harder this time, and relishes in the whimper that leaves the human’s lips. It’s about to make this human its bitch.

The Tyrant flips Leon around, disorienting and dizzying him. Leon doesn’t have time to even attempt to cover his achingly hard dick before three large fingers are shoved in his mouth, causing him to gag. Why the fuck are they so big? It was like deep-throating three dildos at once. Not that Leon knows what that’s like. He’s just making an educated guess.

Drool pools at the corners of his mouth and he clutches at Mr. X’s wrist, trying to remove the hand from his mouth but obviously, it’s to no avail. The monster didn’t remove his fingers until he was satisfied with their slickness.

Leon is flipped back around and a hand comes to rest on one of his cheeks, squeezing and kneading the soft and supple flesh. The rookie hates this. But he’d also hate if the Tyrant were to stop.

It prods at his hole, testing the flesh

Then, suddenly and alarmingly, a finger is shoved into his tight hole.

Leon gasps in a mixture of pain and pleasure. “You- you can’t just shove it in like that! Especially when-“

Leon is cut off once again as the finger is abruptly removed from his hole and a rain of smacks assault his poor ass.

**SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!**

The rookie is whimpering and squirming as the power of Mr. X’s spanking jiggle his pert ass cheeks and turn the once pale skin red enough to challenge a tomato. God, why is this making him so horny? When did the Tyrant have time to research Leon’s bookmarked porn?

Each smack Mr. X delivers to his ass is hard and deliberate, switching from left cheek to right cheek and making sure to keep his hand wide open as not to miss any part of Leon’s ass. Then, finally, he stops. Deciding the human learned his lesson, he goes back to prodding at the sensitive hole. Though this time, he is a little gentler as he shoves a finger back into him.

Leon can appreciate this and moans. It’s not long before one finger escalates into two, and then three. When Mr. X extracts its fingers from Leon’s hole, the rookie is already a moaning mess.

He hears shuffling from behind him and anticipation begins to bubble within him. Leon turns around to look at what the Tyrant is doing and his eyes widen.

Mr. X’s dick is huge. Like, that thing is a _proper_ fucking DICK. One might even call it a COCK. A true monster cock. Jesus fucking Christ. That can’t fit. There’s no fucking way that thing is going to fit. Leon wanted his guts rearranged not destroyed-

“OHHH _FUCK_!” Leon wailed as Mr. X pushed inside.

And so Leon was getting fucked. Leon was getting fucked by a monster cock that filled him up so impossibly. A monster cock so prominent and _big_ that he could feel each pulsing vein rub his walls with each rough thrust. A monster cock that couldn’t miss his prostate if it _tried._

Leon wasn’t going to be able to walk after this.

The rookie squirmed, whimpered, and moaned like wanton filth. The drool that had been pooling at the corners of his mouth began to drip down to his chin. His eyes went cross and his tongue flopped about like a dog’s. He’d be ashamed if he had the capacity to think about something other than getting the dick down of a lifetime.

His hands clutched the edges of the metal table as the Tyrant began to speed up his pace, fucking into him like it was his sole mission for being put on this earth. Leon was about to reach down to touch himself but Mr. X took care of that for him, grabbing ahold of the rookie’s dick with his huge hand and jacking him off sporadically.

Leon came with a shout, clenching around the Tyrant’s dick and causing it to lose control as well. With a terrifying growl, the thing unleashed a heavy load of come inside of Leon. It came out so fast, that it felt like someone put a water hose to his hole and turned it to full blast.

“Ah, oh fuck,” Leon whimpered, feeling himself being filled to the brim. His stomach expanded ever so slightly, making the position he was in uncomfortable.

When Mr. X pulled out, a rush of come followed. The Tyrant watched it flow out, almost mesmerized by the sight, before grabbing the human by his hips, turning him around, and slinging him over its shoulder.

Leon didn’t have the energy to complain or protest. The blissed-out expression remained on his face as the Tyrant carried him out of the room and to god knows where.

He could only hope that Mr. X wasn’t finished with him.


	2. Nemesis? More like, kiss my lips, sis.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bitch can’t even swim.”
> 
> Jill was dumb. Jill was so stupid. Why would she assume that it couldn’t swim? It was a bioweapon. Why wouldn’t he know how to swim? Stupid. She was stupid and now karma is going to have its way with her. Correction, Nemesis was going to have its way with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was inspired to make a second chapter. both thanks to the comments of last chapter and my own horniness upon playing the re3 remake.

“Bitch can’t even swim.”

Jill was dumb. Jill was so stupid. Why would she assume that it couldn’t swim? It was a bioweapon. Why wouldn’t he know how to swim? Stupid. She was stupid and now karma is going to have its way with her. Correction, _Nemesis_ was going to have its way with her.

In a sexy way.

After chasing her off the bridge, Nemesis didn’t give her a chance to recoup. He lands in front of her, looking disgustingly intimidating and… a little hot. She’d be lying if she said the sight didn’t make her a little moist. She’d prefer it to be kept off the record though. Ha.

It pounces on her before she can even reach for the grenade launcher in her inventory. In fact, it decides to open her inventory itself and grab it, throwing it far to the side.

Oh. She was really fucked.

 _Little does she know_ , Nemesis thinks.

Jill is no match for the monstrosity snarling above her. She closes her eyes and prepares to have her head chewed off or her body torn in half but instead of either of those things happening, Nemesis _licks_ her. He licks her face.

_What the fuck?_ Jill’s mind screams.

_Tasty,_ Nemesis contemplates.

She reaches for the gun holstered on her hip and empties a round into its open mouth. This did nothing but piss off the monster. It roughly yanks the gun out of her hands and eats it. Just fucking eats it.

Nemesis ripped off the tatters of clothing around his crotch, baring his dick to the world. And holy cow. Its penis was gigantic. GIGANTIC. Its penis was literally the biggest thing within the Tri-state area! It was bigger than a small elephant. It was bigger than like, a TREE. A big ole tree.

“You must wake up every morning and thank the good lord above,” Jill remarked nervously.

It seemed to find the comment amusing. Maybe. She couldn’t tell if the noise it made was a snort or a snarl. She didn’t get to ask either, because it harshly grabbed her by her hair and lifted her up. She grunted in pain and closed her eyes in reflex. When she opened her eyes, she saw she was face to face with the monster cock.

“Oh, fuck me,” Jill said, all too aware of the double meaning in those words.

There was no way it could fit in her mouth. It could probably break her jaw if it wasn’t careful enough. And well, knowing the jackass, it probably wouldn’t be careful.

“ **Time for me to empty _my_ round into _your_ mouth**,” Nemesis said, the words rumbling from deep in its chest.

Jill would have creamed her pants then and there if she had a penis.

She didn’t even know the bioweapon _could_ talk. _How_ can it talk? Why did it wait until this moment to reveal that ability? Jill will question that more, later. Right now, she has an elephant cock to attempt to deep throat.

Ignoring the painful grip on her hair, Jill reaches forward and grasps the dick in her hands ( _god, it’s heavy_ ) and hesitantly lolls her tongue over the head. Ew, it doesn’t taste sanitary. It tasted like what you’d expect a dirty wild animal’s dick to taste like. The T-virus may not be the only thing she has to worry about catching.

She was thankful that Nemesis seemed content with letting her take this at her own pace because she really wanted to keep her jaw intact, thank you very much.

Eventually, she was able to take him halfway down. She doesn’t think she’d be able to get it all the way down but it didn’t matter. Nemesis nutted. Jill didn’t even really move much yet. Wow.

Jill wanted to pull off to make fun of him but couldn’t because of the cum going down her throat. She gagged but was forced to swallow it all. Hopefully, the T-virus wasn’t transferable this way.

It pulled her off and threw her to the ground.

“God damn,” Jill grumbled, “You sure know how to treat a girl.”

In reality, she was loving the rough treatment. She would’ve preferred it in his first form though.

Nemesis wasted no time in ripping off her skirt, tearing it away like paper. She panicked.

“GAH! Keep your fingers away from my pussy, PLEASE!” Jill begged, just now noticing how sharp they were as they reached for her panties.

Nemesis stopped, tilting his head at her curiously, and retracted his clawed hands. She shot him a thankful look before shoving her underwear down and off, her mind racing a mile a minute. She’s about to be fucked by a bioweapon. The same bioweapon that has attempted to kill her several times now. Shits crazy.

Nemesis grabbed both her legs and spread them, eyeing her coochie like it was something delicious. It leaned down and gently prodded the folds with his tongue, causing Jill’s breath to hitch in anticipation.

Then, suddenly, it dove in. His tongue immediately going so deep, impossibly deep, inside her pussy. She threw her head back and moaned.

Jill Valentine was getting her coochie eaten out by a bioweapon by the name of Nemesis. Life comes at you fast.

Nemesis reached up to tear her shirt away and bra away, accidentally scratching her stomach in the process. It wasn’t a deep cut, luckily, but it was enough for her to hiss in pain at it. This caught the bioweapon’s attention and it lifted his head up to look at her, spotting the trickle of blood where its claw cut her. It stopped its administrations on her pussy and instead decided to clean her wound for her. By slobbering all over it. And using its tongue to play with her nipples.

She’s not complaining though.

After switching between eating her out and playing with her titties for the better part of an hour, the bioweapon decided it was time for the main event.

Nemesis was going to _destroy_ that human pussy.

It lined itself up before pushing in. ALL the way in. Jill wailed in both pain and pleasure. Nemesis didn’t seem to care much for gentility anymore because he started pounding into her with abandon.

Jill couldn’t stop the moans and gasps that left her mouth. Jesus, she sounded like a porn star trying to get paid enough to get through college.

Her heart rate increased and she started breathing more frantically as she felt her orgasm build up in the pit of her- holy shit, her stomach was bulging! With each thrust of that monster cock, a bulge was created in her stomach.

She came with a shout, and the bioweapon followed soon after. As it filled her with its monster cock milk, Jill had a startling thought.

“Can this shit get me pregnant?!”

Nemesis ignored her, pulling out once he was finished and picking her up to sling over his very uncomfortable shoulder. Hm. It didn’t even utilize its tentacles on her yet.

Hopefully, it was taking her somewhere they could catch up on missed opportunities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the third chapter will have all of them coming together in one big monster fucking, dick riding, cum guzzling party.


	3. The dick-riding, cum-guzzling orgy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dispense your loving titty milk into my mouth like I’m a bucket and you’re a cow, pleased to satisfy your farmer with nutrition and sustenance!” Leon begged her. 
> 
> “Of course, farmer daddy,” Jill said, and her titties started leaking milk! What the fuck! That’s so cool!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tired of being horny i just want to be happy

“Who the fuck- _what_ the fuck-!”

Leon, after being carried by Mr. X for the past half hour, was set down gently onto the ground and given some time to take in his surroundings. Not a lot of time though, because not long after an absolute monstrosity barges in, carrying a woman in his arms.

Nemesis tosses Jill down roughly and she lands in front of Leon.

“The hell is this?” Leon asks, looking up to Mr. X, “Are y’all finna eat us?! All that fuckin’ and you just going to eat me? Like I’m nothing? Whatever, man. Your dick wasn’t even that good.”

Leon is lying, the dick was great.

Jill sits up and dusts herself off and the rookie can’t help but stare at her titties, perfectly symmetrical globs of milk. They weren’t exactly big but they weren’t on the small side either. They were like those small white melons you can buy at the grocery store, the author forgot what they’re called. Leon wondered if they tasted as good as those melons. He wanted to slobber all over those nipples. He wanted to play jump rope with her titties. He wanted to buy this bitch a puppy and then marry her, all because of the beautiful balls on her chest.

“Like what you see?” Jill asked once she noticed the stranger eyeing her chest like it was the last slice of pizza at a kid’s birthday party.

Leon swallowed. “Yes, ma’am, I do. Ignoring my dick though, I’m under the impression we might die.”

Jill tilted her head and looked at the Tyrant, then Nemesis. Mr. X stood there calmly, simply observing the scene before him whilst Nemesis fidgeted, dick hanging out like a bat. Not an animal bat, a bat that you could beat someone up with. Nemesis could beat you up with his dick. Nemesis’s dick said, _uno reverse card_.

“I don’t know,” Jill drawled, “Based off the fact that you have no pants, I’m guessing you and whatever that is,” she pointed at the Tyrant, “had some fun too. So, the only logical conclusion to come to is, we are all here to have fun together.”

Yeah! Fuck saving the city. It’s time to sex.

Leon seemed to just now notice Nemesis’s dick. “OH MY GOD! That cock is so fucking big that it _must_ weigh you down. Do you got scoliosis because of your extremely large penis, sir? Truly, if gravity stopped working, you’d still be on the ground because of how big your cock is!”

Nemesis preened, clearly happy with the compliments. Mr. X didn’t seem to like that he was given no attention though.

The Tyrant slapped Leon and pointed to his own dick as if to say, _The fuck? Mine is big, too._

The slap wasn’t hard, but it did make Leon yelp and Jill snicker.

“Sorry! Damn,” Leon said, rubbing his cheek, “Your dick is gorgeous, X.”

Nemesis punched the ground, creating several cracks upon impact. “ **Can we move this along? I’m trying to get my dick wet.** ”

Leon almost screamed. Jill’s coochie moistened.

“Don’t worry,” she whispered to Leon, “He’s not too bad.”

Leon gulped, wondering where to start. Nemesis figured that he’d decide for Leon.

Grabbing the rookie by his waist and turning him around, Nemesis inserted his moist and long tongue into the puckered hole. Leon gasped and clawed at the ground. The sensation felt... weird. This is what getting eaten out by Venom must feel like.

Jill grabbed Leon’s chin and kissed him. It was one of the filthiest kisses Leon ever had in his life, spit being sloshed around and exchanged in their mouths. The author gagged while writing that sentence.

Mr. X made his way over to the group and started rubbing Jill’s pussy from behind. At the same time, Nemesis had a tentacle slither down and around Leon’s pp, rubbing it tentatively. Another tentacle slithered around to the Tyrant, attempting to enter his mouth. Mr. X grabbed it and looked at it curiously, before allowing it to do what it wanted to and explore the caverns of his mouth.

Meanwhile, Leon started sucking on Jill’s titty. She moaned as he flicked her nipple with his tongue. He grabbed her other titty and began squeezing it, giving it a proper massage. Man, titties are fun to squeeze. They’re like jello balls but more solid.

“Dispense your loving titty milk into my mouth like I’m a bucket and you’re a cow, pleased to satisfy your farmer with nutrition and sustenance!” Leon begged her.

“Of course, farmer daddy,” Jill said, and her titties started leaking milk! What the fuck! That’s so cool!

Leon drank it up greedily, needing a nice refreshing drink after all the intense activity.

Nemesis removed the tentacle from Mr. X’s mouth and grabbed both of Leon’s legs and lifted him up higher, now out of reach of Jill’s scrumptious melons. He spread the rookie’s legs apart, allowing for better access, and put a tentacle in alongside his tongue. Leon gasped and whined loudly, probably loud enough for any zombie and licker to hear from a mile away.

Mr. X took this time to grab Jill by her shoulder, turning her around to get a better look at the human’s coochie. He stared at it for a moment, as if not sure what he was looking at. This was probably his first time working with a pussy and he might’ve been expecting a penis instead. He reached out to touch the moist folds hesitantly, looking up at the human to gauge her reaction. When she gave him an encouraging look, he went all in. The Tyrant began rapidly rubbing her pussy and her mouth fell open into a perfect ‘O’ shape.

Nemesis sped up his thrusts into Leon’s hole, pounding the human’s prostate with each of the appendages. With each thrust, a high pitched squeak left his mouth.

Mr. X slapped Jill’s pussy, causing a pornstar shout to leave her mouth. “Please, fuck me hard with your big bioweapon cock!”

Mr. X got ready to comply, unsheathing itself and… looking at the folds of the vagina curiously.

He… did not know where to put his dick.

Jill stared at him expectantly. “Are you going to fuck me or what?”

If Mr. X could speak, he’d explain that he did not know what the fuck to do. Pussy was slightly more complicated than the other side. The Tyrant was a little embarrassed, to be honest. The solution to the problem, he thought, was to turn her around and use her ass instead.

Jill grunted then her eyes widened as she felt something prodding her asshole. Ohhhhh fuck.

Alright, listen, she wasn’t averse to anal. She’s done it before and it was great. But this, this was different. This was a monster cock.

She hissed in pain as it entered her asshole, but Mr. X was nice enough to do it slowly. Still hurt like a bitch though.

Leon was reaching his climax for the second time that night. He squirted jizz all over his shirt and floor. Nemesis dropped him once he realized the human came. Then he set his sights on the Tyrant and the human female. It was time he asserted his dominance as the biggest dick having monster in the city.

Nemesis yanked Mr. X off of Jill, who was just starting to enjoy the anal, and climbed on top of him. He put his dick to his mouth and started forcing it in. The Tyrant was content with this development.

Leon, 52% recovered from the pounding his prostate was given, made his way over to Jill. He wasted no time in shoving his face into her coochie.

“No, wait,” Jill stopped him, “Eat my pussy out from the back, it feels way better.”

The rookie complied as she turned around. Jill sighed in content as he got to work. She got a little closer to Mr. X’s dingaling and began sucking on it. It was a chain of dick suckers + one pussy sucker. Human centipede except less terrifying and gross.

Mr. X notably didn’t have a gag reflex. Nemesis took full advantage of that shoving his cock all the way down the Tyrant’s throat. Jill seemed to have no trouble taking X’s dick all the way down either. Once you deep throat a tree dick, nothing is impossible.

Nemesis came in Mr. X’s mouth at the same time that the Tyrant came in Jill’s mouth and also the same time she orgasmed. She didn’t squirt though, much to Leon’s chagrin. He was really trying his hardest. Ah well. It is what it is.

The bioweapon had the stamina of a Greek god because not two seconds after jizzing, did he get up, yank Jill away from Mr. X’s dick, and sit on it. Nemesis began riding the dick like a bull.

Leon and Jill were troopers. They were both tired and a little overstimulated but phew, Leon hopped up and lined Nemesis’s dick with his hole. With a deep breath, he began to sink down. The rookie was lucky that he was opened up a bit from the tongue and tentacle he took earlier. Nemesis had enough of the waiting though because he grabbed Leon by his hips and forced him down the rest of the way. The poor human went cross-eyed.

Jill was luckier (or more unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) because she finally could get fucked by a normal-sized dick.

Leon was a nice size, pretty average-sized in length. He was quickly growing hard from how his prostate was once again assaulted by that tree trunk bioweapon dickkkkkk

Jill lowered herself onto him, moaning at the familiar feeling in her pussy. Then, Nemesis started bouncing more vigorously, causing both Leon and Jill to moan, the sounds melting together like a terribly dirty melody. The bioweapon was growling and the Tyrant was as silent as ever, but clearly enjoying it.

Leon would have never thought that his first day as a cop would have led to this. Being fucked in the ass by some weird monster thing and fucking a beautiful chick at the same time. Life is good.

Mr. X came, semen filling up Nemesis. Then Leon came, filling up Jill. Very overstimulated now, he was forced to endure several more thrusts until Nemesis finally reached his end. Leon thought _Mr. X_ had a lot of jizz but DAMN! Nemesis had a fucking gallon of semen stashed in his balls. The human’s stomach expanded heavily.

Panting heavily, Jill slowly removed herself from Leon. Nemesis roughly yanked Leon off of him and tossed him to the side. Ever the gentlemen.

The bioweapon took itself off of Mr. X and took off at a sprint. Hit and run. Jill hoped that that was the end of that and it wouldn’t come back to finally kill her. She was still disappointed that the tentacles never got used on her. Bullshit ass orgy.

“Well,” Leon started, still panting and pushing come out of his ass, “This was fun. I’m Leon, by the way.”

Jill stood up shakily. “I’m Jill.”

She was going to have to find some more clothes before she met up with Carlos again. One of these zombies has to have a cute outfit or something.

“Where are you going?” Leon asked once she stood up.

“Eh,” she grunted, “Got some shit to do. See you later, pretty boy. Hopefully.”

With that Jill exited the scene, giving Leon a nice view of her ass. He whistled woefully. Maybe one day he’d see her and her beautiful titties again. Perhaps another monster orgy. One could only hope.

Mr. X grabbed the rookie’s arm and lifted him up gently. Leon flushed darkly as semen gushed down his legs. The Tyrant gave him a look that he couldn’t decipher, making butterflies bloom in the human’s stomach. What better way to bond than fucking other people?

“Let’s make our way back, big guy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you mfs can follow me on twitter if you want @moansindespair  
> I need more resident evil fandom friends

**Author's Note:**

> i immediately wanted to delete this after posting it


End file.
